Testimonial - Bradley

Dear Dr. McLaughlin and Staff,

My wife, Angie, and I are graduating from your recurrent miscarriage program tomorrow. The words of this letter can't even come close to explaining what you and your staff have meant to us over the past six months. However, I feel compelled to try and to express our tremendous gratitude.

On March 31,st 2003 at eleven weeks of pregnancy we went in for an impromptu ultrasound because Angie had experienced some minor spotting and backache over the weekend. She had also completely lost her appetite over the previous few days. As we sat in the waiting room I reassured her that everything was fine. After all, we had just been blessed enough to see and hear the baby's heartbeat a couple of days before. I was confident that everything was fine because through some of our own research we learned that after you have seen a heartbeat that the chances of a miscarriage were less than 2%. The technician began the ultrasound. There was a long silence. We were all three staring at the screen. Finally Angie asked, "Is there a heartbeat?" What the technician said next was the most shocking and devastating words I have heard in my 32 years of life. She said, "No, I'm sorry." A few days later we had our first D&C and the first of four surgeries in 2003. We were left completely devastated. I think that the only thing that got us through those horrible days was the thought that we could try again at some point.

After waiting the agonizing required three months we began to try again. It took us a couple of months the second time around. After many pregnancy tests and a lot of praying and waiting we finally got the results we had been waiting for. We were pregnant again. At probably 7:59 a.m. the next morning, Angie called the doctors office to get her labs drawn to confirm the obvious. Our excitement lasted only a short 24 hours. Our beta HCG was dangerously low. We were trying to be optimistic but over time began to fear the worst. We watched as our 72 hour HCG levels never came close to doubling. At eight weeks on August 13,th 2003 (the four year anniversary of Angie and me meeting each other for the first time) our doctor told us it was time for another D&C. I didn't think it was possible to feel any more desperate and devastated than on March 31st but we did.

With our nursery halfway completed, stroller and car seat purchased, baby clothes neatly folded in the new dresser we had purchased and painted ourselves, we didn't have the one thing that we had both dreamed of our whole lives. A baby. A family. Shortly after our second loss we were referred to a recurrent miscarriage specialist by the name of Dr. David McLaughlin. We didn't know much about this doctor, other than that he came highly recommended, but were grateful to have been referred to him

On September 2nd we had our first consultation visit with Dr. McLaughlin. As we sat in the waiting room we felt desperate yet hopeful. His staff began with an ultrasound which we had grown terrified of by that point and by taking a comprehensive history of our losses. We were then ushered into Dr. McLaughlin's office where I remember finding comfort looking at all of the accomplishments being displayed on his wall. Next I looked at a picture on his desk and recognized two of his sons from my SAE years at college. Dr. McLaughlin came into the room shortly after with his tape recorder and began to discuss our history as well as some of his initial impressions on the causes of our recurrent losses. I was very impressed with his gentle and caring yet confident nature in discussing his suggested plan of action. This plan of action included testing for over forty possible causes. That is where the tape recorder became invaluable. Angie and I must have listened to it twenty or more times over the next several months. It even helped me lose a few arguments over numbers he had presented. Oh well. This plan also included a Laparoscopy/Hysteroscopy which would be our third surgery in 2003. Overall, there were two things that I remember best from that initial meeting. First was that he presented to us statistics from a 2001 Marion College presentation stating a 100% success rate with his pre-conception care. Secondly, and most importantly, he told us, "I have high hopes for you guys." Before those words were spoken, I had begun to wonder if we could ever produce a healthy baby of our own.

After eight tubes of blood and a few weeks went by, our test results started trickling in. At this point our depression and sorrow was starting to increase even more. As I said before, the only light at the end of the tunnel was the thought that we could try again one day. Around this same time we attended a memorial service where the ashes of our two precious angels were laid to rest along with the ashes of other early losses. The ceremony was beautiful but filled with sorrow. It was comforting knowing that there was a tangible place where we could now visit. Soon thereafter we struggled with the passing of our due date of our first baby (October 23rd 2003). There was definitely a growing sense of urgency to become pregnant. However our test results were dramatically prolonging the process. I guess I was expecting Dr. McLaughlin to find one thing, correct it, and we would be on our way. The Laparoscopy/Hysteroscopy surgery uncovered several things: endometriosis, uterine polyp, and an incompetent cervix. Among the other test results that were coming in every few days were: a hormonal imbalance causing Angie to release weak eggs, a chronic progesterone deficiency, and an autoimmune disorder. Dr. McLaughlin also tested for male factors, which he presented as a cause in 40% of all losses. I went to see Dr. Boldt, a specialist in male reproduction, for a semen analysis. As you might guess my results came back abnormal as well. I was then referred to Dr. Sam Thompson, a urologist specializing in male reproduction. Shortly after scheduling my appointment, I received a packet of information including some paper work that I needed to fill out prior to my appointment. After letting it sit for several days I began to look through it. Included in the paperwork was a checklist of known toxins affecting sperm production. You know, one of those kind of lists that you just kind of skim over knowing that there is nothing there that would involve you. In mid skim, I was shocked to see the words Azulfidine/Sulfasalizine. Listed right after chemotherapy and right before poison (seriously) this was the medication that I had been taking for over sixteen years. We had been trying to come to terms with the fact that we would have to wait until early November to try again due to the surgery and other findings. During Dr. Thompson's examination he discovered what he thought may be a varicocoele in the left testicle causing the sperm to overheat and die off. He scheduled a testicular ultrasound to explore that possibility. We were at that point facing an additional 75 days for the sperm to regenerate after discontinuing the Azulfidine and the possibility of surgery (for me) with an accompanying six month waiting period. That was the day we hit rock bottom. Problem after problem and delay after delay with no end in sight, we had lost all hope. Several weeks earlier Angie had brought home a flyer for a seminar on recurrent miscarriages hosted by Dr. McLaughlin. She had asked if we could go. Honestly, I didn't really want to but felt it would be good for her. I just didn't want to think about that stuff anymore. I needed a mental rest. But, I agreed to go anyway. I remember walking into St. Luke's Church (where the presentation was being held) feeling completely hopeless. As we were standing looking at the info board trying to figure which room it was being at, I saw another couple about our same age walking in. I could see in there eyes that they were going through the same thing as we were. They asked "Are you going to Dr. McLaughlin's presentation?" We said yes and walked down to the meeting room together. I remember walking into the meeting room and seeing Dr. McLaughlin holding a baby. He began with an introduction and then turned the floor over to one of his former patients Kim Bakle. As she told her story I felt as if she were telling ours. The emotions she was describing really hit home. I remember she seemed to have made eye contact with Angie throughout most of her story. Barb quietly walked over and handed Angie some tissues. This was the first time I felt I was with a group of people that really understood what we were going through. That was really very comforting. All of our friends and family had been very supportive but it just wasn't the same as being with people who were going through the same thing as we were. We were able to ask all of the questions that had been building like a ton of bricks. When we were leaving the seminar we were completely different people. We had hope again. A few days later, Angie contacted Kim Bakle and spoke with her for over an hour. Since then we have become very close friends with Mark, Kim, and Jackson. We get together with them every couple of weeks. Mark and I share Dr. Boldt stories while Angie and Kim talk needles.

Two days later, Dr. Thompson performed the testicular ultrasound and found there to be no varicocoele. After waiting the 75 days and taking Folgard along with Selinium we repeated the SCSA test. The numbers were dramatically different. My sperm count had nearly tripled and the DFI was now at a safe <15%. We were very thankful that Dr. Mac had referred us to Dr. Thompson. As prescribed by Dr. Mac we began five days of subcutaneous injections of Gonal F to increase the egg quality. A few days later we were finally ready to undergo the IUI procedure. The staff was extremely reassuring that even during the holiday season they would do whatever it took to perform the IUI. After another trip to Dr. Boldt's office, I headed back over to Dr. Mac's office where Angie was patiently waiting. Cheryl performed the insemination on December 23,rd 2003 with great care making us as comfortable as possible. We spent a very low key Christmas at our house avoiding the usual hectic holiday travel. Now all we could do is wait. We were nervous but hopeful. Angie was beginning to show signs of early pregnancy but we were aware of the possibility that it could just be the hormones she was receiving. As the days drew nearer her period date came and passed. Finally it was time to get her beta HCG drawn at the office. Angie was supposed to get the results sometime after 2:00 that afternoon. We were so nervous awaiting the results. I don't think I got a bit of work done any time after 1:00 p.m. that day. We had developed a code for when she called me at work. If it was good news she would call me at my work number. If it was bad news she would call me on my cell phone so I could step out into the hall. I just don't think I could have taken that kind of news in the office. There were a thousand thoughts running through my head. I had just began to look out the window and started praying to God to give us strength to get through this if we weren't pregnant when the OFFICE phone rang. Angie said we're pregnant! We were both overcome with emotion. Our prayers had been answered.

Tonight we are carrying a twelve week 2 day perfect baby that we love with all of our hearts. We owe it all to you Dr. Mac and your staff. Without your extreme brilliance and desire to be the best at everything you do, we would never have been able to experience this joy. You have truly been an answer to our prayers. We thank God that you have touched our lives and so many others. With our graduation from your care tomorrow, I reflect back on all that you and your staff has done for us. I think of our feelings of desperation, loss of hope, and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I think of the joy you have now given us. I think of Becky's diagnostic intelligence and availability to answer our questions no matter how many times we called. I think of Barb's constant compassion, understanding, and skillfulness performing the weekly ultrasounds. I think of Barb's willingness to spend as much time with us as needed to answer our questions and reassure us. I think of Cheryl's smile, compassion, and desire to provide the best care possible. I think of her skill in performing the IUI. Angie told me that when she had to come in for an impromptu ultrasound that Cheryl said "I'm glad everything is ok. I would have had to go home if it wasn't." That really shows how much you care. I think of how friendly and genuinely concerned the office staff is for us, always wanting to see the latest ultrasound photos. I remember how excited everyone was when we found out that we were pregnant. I will always remember "the grip." I will always remember you giving Angie hugs and reassuring her with every visit. Most of all we will always remember that you gave us our dream that we had been dreaming of our whole lives. A baby. A family.

We look forward to dropping by the office from time to time and the day when you can come to Community North's Maternity Unit to see our new baby.

With Sincere and inexpressible gratitude,

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